The Very Forgetful Attorney General


NOW, FOLKS WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW

" I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT FOLKS, DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN GONE FOR 12 DAYS ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) A LOT OF DONALD TRUMP FANS HERE TONIGHT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: "WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY, THE MICE HAVE TO TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS" ( LAUGHTER ) IN THIS CASE, IT WAS ATTORNEY GENERAL AND SECRETARY OF MISCHIEF, JEFF SESSIONS

SESSIONS' TESTIMONY TO THE HOUSE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE COVERED A WIDE RANGE OF ISSUES, AND SESSIONS HAD THE SAME ANSWER FOR A LOT OF THEM >> I DON'T RECALL I DON'T RECALL I DON'T RECALL IT I DO NOT RECALL

I DON'T RECALL IT I HAD NOT RECALLED ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NOT A GREAT MEMORY IN FACT, JUST TO REMEMBER THOSE ANSWERS, HE HAD TO WRITE THEM ON HIS HAND ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) SO NO SURPRISE, SESSIONS' MEMORY WAS A HOT TOPIC AT THE HEARING

>> IN YOUR TESTIMONY TODAY, YOU HAVE STATED "I DON'T RECALL" AT LEAST 20 TIMES IS THAT FAIR TO SAY? >> I HAVE NO IDEA ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT'S A FAIR ANSWER, I GUESS I GUESS IT'S– I'M– I'M STARTING TO GET A LITTLE WORRIED HERE

IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH JEFF SESSIONS? DID HE GET HIT BY A BIG COCONUT ON HIS WAY INTO THE CHAMBER? AND EVEN WHEN SESSIONS COULD REMEMBER SOMETHING, HE COULDN'T ACTUALLY REMEMBER IT, LIKE THE MEETING HE ATTENDED WHERE TRUMP CAMPAIGN FOREIGN POLICY ADVISER AND GUY WHO "KNOWS A GUY," GEORGE PAPADOPOULOUS, PRESENTED A PLAN TO COLLUDE WITH THE RUSSIANS >> I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS RECENT NEWS REPORTS REGARDING MEETINGS DURING THE CAMPAIGN ATTENDED BY GEORGE PAPADOPOULOS AND CARTER PAGE, AMONG OTHERS FRANKLY, I HAD NO RECOLLECTION OF THIS MEETING UNTIL I SAW THESE NEWS REPORTS >> Stephen: "AND ONCE SOMEONE REPORTS ON WHAT I SAID, I WILL RECALL THAT AS WELL" ( LAUGHTER ) "I THINK

I DO BELIEVE" NOW, NOW– ( LAUGHTER ) SO NOW SESSIONS DOES REMEMBER THE MEETING, SORT OF >> I DO NOW RECALL THAT THE MARCH 2016 MEETING AT THE TRUMP HOTEL THAT MR PAPADOPOULOS ATTENDED, BUT I HAVE NO CLEAR RECOLLECTION OF THE DETAILS OF WHAT HE SAID AT THAT MEETING >> Stephen: "I DO NOW RECALL– OOPS, AND NOW I'VE FORGOTTEN IT AGAIN

POOF, IT'S GONE ED WHERE YOU GO! ED WHERE YOU GO! THERE WERE SO MANY MEETINGS ABOUT COLLUSION, I'VE GOT THE COLLUSION CONFUSION" ( LAUGHTER ) "IT'S LIKE BRAIN FEVER WITH THE VAPORS AT THE SAME TIME I DO BELIEVE IS THIS ON? IS THIS– I HOPE IT'S NOT

" BUT THEN, THE MEMORIES CAME FLOODING BACK >> AFTER READING HIS ACCOUNT, AND TO THE BEST OF MY RECOLLECTION, I BELIEVE THAT I WANTED TO MAKE CLEAR TO HIM THAT HE WAS NOT AUTHORIZED TO REPRESENT THE CAMPAIGN WITH THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT, OR ANY OTHER FOREIGN GOVERNMENT, FOR THAT MATTER >> Stephen: SO SESSIONS HAS NO RECOLLECTION OF MEETING HIM, NO RECOLLECTION OF WHAT HE SAID OR WHO ELSE WAS THERE WITH HIM ALL HE REMEMBERS IS THAT SESSIONS DID THE RIGHT THING "I'M SORRY, FELLAS, THE OLE DOG'S MEMORY IS KINDA HAZY– WAIT! IT'S COMIN' BACK TO ME

I LOOKED HIM RIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAID THE THING WITH THE LEAST LEGAL LIABILITY GOOD DAY, SIR! GOOD DAY, SIR!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I HAVE TO KEEP TESTIFYING? I DID NOT REALIZE THAT I APOLOGIZE TO THE ENTIRE COMMITTEE

"

Source: Youtube


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