Tomek Biskup – Credit Card, Tourists and Pope – Cosmic Comedy Berlin


no idea what Stephen is saying 馃檪 But it is in English I am Stephen Blaubach, thank you very much! for Tomasz Biskup! so, hello ladies and gentlemen I will do everythink to speak with worse accent than Stephen Blaubach you know, I am polish so, I have like really strong english-transilvanian accent there is no point in making it even worse than it is already so, I would like to ask you do you guys have credit cards? yeah, ok I also have credit card but it was some kind of a fucking miracle that they gave me one because I have basicaly no money I am Tomek Biskup and I see one reason why they could have given me that card who knows what my surname – Biskup means in polish ? or who wants to guess does not matter rich rich no, no, no, it is not rich the other answer, what was the other answer lucky loki? lucky, no bishop bishop, yeah it is bishop so I think that guy that gave me my credit card had to be like really fucking religious oh bishop wants our card halleluyah so I do have credit card and I can spend money I do not have that's why I am in Berlin great opportunity but they also gave me opportunity to segregate all my spendings on my card into categories so every time I will go and eat something and pay by card I will find it in some category so, once I've ate shitty polish bigos you know bigos cabbage with sausage I've paid by card then I go home and I see it in category travel and adventure I have suddenly felt as adventerous traveler I've felt as if I went to Afganistan and ate I don't know camel bigos I am only afraid that if someday I will go to pharmacy buy myself painkiller and pay by card I will find it in category drugs and hookers so, I live in Krak贸w and we've got many tourists going there every year every day all the time and some of those tourists come there only to drink those tourists come from many different countries England United Kingdom Great Britain British Commonwelth Northern Ireland and let's take some immaginary guy let's call him Garry he just came back to England from his trip to Krak贸w and he meets his friend Emmily in the streets of London and she is like oh, Garry how are you how was your trip to Poland to Krak贸w I mean how was your trip to Krak贸w oh, it was great I don't remember damn thing we have went to piss on Mariacki Church I've heard nobody remembers that but polish police was nice anough to send us some pictures than I have been trying to drink with a dragon than I have been trying to fight with a dragon oh, Garry it is wonderfull where do you want to go for your vacation next year? oh, I am going to Berlin I've heard it is great city to forget so, there are also other types of tourists that are like polite, nice but a little dumb because we have basicaly two historical centres in Krak贸w Market Square and Kazimierz District and once I have been walking from one to another and like elderly english couple stopped me and they were like excuse me, do you know way to the old town? and they were fucking standing in front of a church from sixtienth century so, I was like not old anough for you? where do you guys come from? ancient Egypt? if it doesn't have hieroglyphs it doesn't count as old? so, I have sent them to archeological excavations in Salvator District I hope that town was old anough for them, right? so, also maybe you know and maybe you don't pope John Paul the second in Poland there is still only one pope John Paul II, right we havn't accepted facts that they have changed man in that position like two times pope John Paul II have been living and studying in Krak贸w and he has a window in Krak贸w not a house a window I think buying it was really hard it's window in which pope John Paul II stood once like fifteen years ago and I think you need fucking lots of imagination to enjoy that spot and he have been studying in that city so in every district somewhere you will find bord stating John Paul II was here John Paul II was there and I've started to think that when he was studying in Krak贸w he have been working as a pizza delivery guy so you will also find some bords stating John Paul II slept here John Paul II slept there I have started to think that maybe he was pizza delivery guy with a narcolepsy big pepe have you ever heard about polish freedom fighter Joseph Pi艂susdski? when he, ok the thing is when he was fighting for polish freedom he have been traveling throu whole the Poland and in every small town you will find bord stating Joseph Pi艂sudski slept here Joseph Pi艂sudski slept there I have started to think that at least at one ocasion John Paul II and Joseph Pi艂sudski slept together thank you very much ladies and gentlemen see you later at the bar so this set was recorded at Cosmic Comedy open mic in Berlin I am shure you have noticed the guy at the begining that's Dharmander Singh he is a host of Cosmic Comedy if you ever will be in Berlin definetly go see his show he is really good comedian, ok? and if you ever will be in Krak贸w definetly come to see my show I do stand up comedy in here in English as well in Polish so if you understand one of those two languages I am shure you will have a laugh und jetzt villen Dank und Auf Wiedersehen

Source: Youtube


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